24 Comments
User's avatar
Kim Nelson's avatar

I read these and then play with the original text to see how my creation would dance with what X.P. writes. it's a fun game, you know, like playing Connections or World. 😉

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X. P. Callahan's avatar

Would love to see what you do/have done.

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Janie Braverman's avatar

I, too, am playing the game. Wondering if there are enough words for it to fit into my "three times sourced" erasure project, where I'm erasing the same work three times, leaving different words (with none overlapping) each time. This one is so rich. And should be fun.

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X. P. Callahan's avatar

Curious to see what might come out of this one for you and your 3x erasures.

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Janie Braverman's avatar

I will definitely share

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Celeste's avatar

Thanks X.P! I too jumped into the game and came up with this erasure:

stupid

terrible

rather

imperfect

I face

myself

angry

& bright

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X. P. Callahan's avatar

Ha ha ha! I love it. Thanks for sharing.

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Mary Holscher's avatar

Wonderful erasure poem. And I so love seeing the original poem. Your spare poem captures so much of the spirit of the original.

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Mary Holscher's avatar

I had to play too! I am approximating spacing.

Love me

when I am

blue

swallowing

hunger

angry mule

hard

small

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Mary Holscher's avatar

It erased all the spacing when I posted. Oh well.

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X. P. Callahan's avatar

Yeah, we don't have much spacing control in the comments. But your erasure still works. Love it!

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Angela Cummings's avatar

I really love this art form and you have a gift for unveiling such rich and surprising subtexts from the source, X.P.!

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X. P. Callahan's avatar

Thanks, Angela.

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LeeAnn Pickrell's avatar

This is so rich and I love seeing the original and they speak to each other.

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X. P. Callahan's avatar

Thanks, LeeAnn.

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Ronald Drimmel's avatar

An interesting and valid condensation of the original (which is an interesting poem already). An exercise in minimalism?

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X. P. Callahan's avatar

In this case, yes, you could say so.

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Ann's avatar

Stupid terrible imperfect love.

I am blue yet my heart is hopeful.

Oooo...this is fun. Kim Nelson I should not have read your post. LOL

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X. P. Callahan's avatar

Wonderful! I'm so glad you did.

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Julianne's avatar

Thank you!

New here and I jumped in too (also w/approximate spacing):

We both

Love

rather a

monsoon

I

swallow my

heart

hard

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X. P. Callahan's avatar

Thanks! I love this and love that you jumped right in.

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Dick Whyte's avatar

from the other side

of some hill:

.

I am

mountain,

I am

swallowing

a small

sun

.

:-)

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X. P. Callahan's avatar

Slow clap, standing.

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Dick Whyte's avatar

Awwww cheers! Really enjoyed it. Great way to start the day. :-)

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