29 Comments
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Deborah Kay Kelly's avatar

Comes down to, how long can I "afford" to live.

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Janie Braverman's avatar

I wish there were an emoji for "I see you, I hear you, and it breaks my heart"

No way I'm hitting a heart for this.

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Deborah Kay Kelly's avatar

I know you do. You know what it means.

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X. P. Callahan's avatar

Yes, it really does. And that is SO unnecessary.

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Kim Nelson's avatar

Well I'm glad I read this before heading out to yoga. As ever, your work glows with layered intent, humor and craft. To be so good!!!

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Tina Carlson's avatar

so good!!I just had one of these! Remember the three objects?!

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X. P. Callahan's avatar

duck, orange, church

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Tina Carlson's avatar

himge, hangnail, toolshed😂

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Ann's avatar
Oct 6Edited

Not sure how I missed this 2 years ago but I'm loving it right now! Especially since I'm going for my annual Medicare Wellness visit next week. Can't wait to get bitched at for my bone density scores since I keep refusing to take the meds that make your jaw disintegrate.

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X. P. Callahan's avatar

I won't take them either. No one even tries to argue with me about it. I think they know.

Early on, I was sent to a "class" that turned out to be myself and three other women being told scary stories by a pharmacist in a white coat. I did plenty of research beforehand. Every time the pharmacist issued one of his grim warnings, I raised my hand and politely asked him to comment on this or that study of side effects, long-term efficacy, long-term risks, and so on. I did it for the other women. Resistance to the Republic of Pfizer.

We all need to find our own solutions. For me, that means dietary calcium, magnesium, Vitamin D and other supplements, and weight-bearing exercise.

But isn't it interesting that these miracle drugs started to be aggressively pushed right around the time the cash cow of hormone therapy was being discontinued because it had been found unacceptably risky for postmenopausal women?

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Ann's avatar

I'm with you all the way. Resist!

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Mary Roblyn's avatar

I skipped mine last year. Instead, I wrote flash fiction about the three objects and practiced my clock face. This year, I aced it. Wonderful work, X. P.

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X. P. Callahan's avatar

Thank you, Mary.

You used your time well.

I do a good job with the three objects because I have eidetic memory and a knack for mnemonics, but both could be masking progressive brain rot. Which goes to show you something, but I forgot what it was.

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Mary Roblyn's avatar

🤣

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Alexis R Kane's avatar

This is perfection. Death and humour in one poem/prescription. Love it.

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Janie Braverman's avatar

I can't decide if this terrifies me, makes me laugh, makes me want to vomit, or - most likely - all those things.

I don't get asked the three objects question any more - not after having gone to "two lists of 15 objects each", but I am wondering where "do you feel safe at home?" went.

On an even more serious note, I struggle with DNR's, not for those who can make their own decisions (or at least for now we can, who knows when 'someone' will get a wild hair to try to prohibit that), but for those who cannot and missed the opportunity to talk to family and/or friends about it when they could. That opportunity that, at least as of today, those of us here still have.

OK, enough darkness today.

Long comment as a way of saying this one hit me right in the gut.

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X. P. Callahan's avatar

Two lists of 15 objects each? To be recalled a few minutes afterward? If anyone asks me to do that, I am sneaking out the back door.

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Mario Fonseca's avatar

Well, as they say in my village: nobody dies the day before

(I’m requesting an appointment with my health service)

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Ann Collins's avatar

As a former ICU nurse, I can honestly say, there are worse things than dying. This is an unflinching poem, X.P.

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X. P. Callahan's avatar

Yes, Ann. There certainly are, and I've seen it, too. Up close and personal, as they say.

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Ann Collins's avatar

🙏💛

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Carole Roseland's avatar

Ha, what Medicare? Do we still have that? I've been thinking that I can just get that guy from Fox News, Brian Kilmeade, to do my lethal injection when "it's time." This year, I passed the clock test and the three words, but last year I failed on the words. Imagine that.

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Paul De's avatar

Fatastic! One for the ages! All of them! (18, 45, 73, 99...)

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Mary Pierce's avatar

Should have warned us: do not read this with a full bladder.

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X. P. Callahan's avatar

LOL. Is there an emoji for that? 🅿️

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Mary Pierce's avatar

Should be!!

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Sharon Hom's avatar

So glad X.P. you reposted! Spot on extractions from the state of medical care today, curated with dead-pan humor😹

Perhaps add those new depression and dementia Qs they ask those of us over a “certain age”😩

how often do you have feelings of sadness? (If I said not often, am I even on the same planet?)

I will tell you three words, then later will ask you what they are. (I remembered them, but WHAT were they???)

The nurse drew a circle then asked me to draw the hands of a clock and add the numbers. (Whew. Successfully doing this reassured me I’m not approaching early dementia!)

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X. P. Callahan's avatar

Glad you're not approaching early dementia. Nothing for me would be early.

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Sharon Hom's avatar

Well, at the three-quarter of a century mark, I like to think this would be “ early”😹😹😹

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