3.25.2024

HIGH VOLTAGE CAN NO LONGER PROTECT YOU

Gildo da Silva Oliveira, Urso de Carnaval (Carnival Bear), 1998, cover image from Flarf (Edge Books, 2017), anthology edited by Drew Gardner, Nada Gordon, K. Silem Mohammad, Sharon Mesmer, and Gary Sullivan

For each of these three syllabic Flarf poems, the originating search terms are shown in parentheses at the end.

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SLOUCHING TOWARD SAINTHOOD

It takes hard work to start from scratch. Your day
     may include a cocktail. They tend to be
consumed quicker, so keep a spare on hand
     during the sacrificial process, when
high voltage can no longer protect you.
     You’ll probably see some tiny holes and
that’s exactly what should be happening.

(anode rod / cattle ranching)

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SPOILERS

Most of the main characters get killed
     in a variety of
entertaining ways. They’re poisoned through
     the nose or mucous membranes,
abused at the end of a massive
     shaft in circular motion,
or part of an arm may be bent and
     melted away. Most of them
are very attractive, and you get
     to see some anatomy.

(crank / planet)

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TIPS FOR AN ASPIRING ESCORT

Here in Texas, emotions can run high
     and impulsive decisions can harm you.
Plan for success! Beauty, accessories
     and a unique accent do not function
to add interest, accolades or clients
     if you do not factor in specific
challenges and common problems. To be
     well respected, understand the value
of being clean and getting inspected.

(chimney / option)

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RECIPE FOR A FLARF POEM

1. Choose your search terms—at least two different words, maybe a phrase or two.

2. Open a search engine (Google, Bing, Duck Duck Go, Brave, Safari) and type your search terms in one at a time or all together.

3. Decide the ground rules. Will your Flarf poem be based on only the first link that the search engine returns for each term? the first three links? the first five?

4. Open the links you’ve found. Copy and paste all or part of their associated text into Microsoft Word, Google Docs, Scrivener—whatever works for you.

5. A Flarf poem is a type of found poem, so mix it up. Experiment with collages of text from combinations of your search results. You don’t need to use everything. Take what you need and leave the rest, as the saying goes.

6. Edit to create the effects you want—long lines or short ones, a fixed form (a rhymed or unrhymed sonnet, a triolet, a haiku, a tanka, a haibun, a syllabic poem . . . ) or free verse—and give your poem a title.

7. At least half the fun of writing a Flarf poem is producing a work of transcendent badness, but more pedestrian badness is an achievement in its own right, so don’t worry that your Flarf poem isn’t good enough. Feel free to share your poem in the comments. Include the search terms you used, and consider describing any procedures you followed that departed from the steps listed here. I can’t wait to read and, with your permission, restack what you come up with.