5.30.2025
EVERYTHING PERFECTLY
Those nice retired couples in the Schwab brochures have done everything perfectly their whole lives. Their silver manes came in lustrous, all at once, uniform in shade and becomingly styled. When they meet with a portfolio wrangler, cycle on a groomed path, or cruise the Danube and raise a glass to their tip-top health, they wear business casual. Tell me, you with your sweats, your sparse hair and cratered savings, your heart beached on a chimeric pharmaceutical reef, what’s the plan for your wild precious golden years?
NOTE
Welcome, new subscribers, and thank you. From time to time I will be dipping into the archive and reposting some poems you probably haven’t seen. This one first ran, in slightly different form, on January 9, 2023.


This is why the kids say “ok boomer”
There she is, Miss America
There she is, your ideal